A clap of thunder just shook my house. I am sitting in the TV room, which is actually a bedroom with a futon and a love sac, vegging. Today I woke up at 5:30 which was necessary just to get through the day still in law school and on law review. It felt like one of those days where my slipshod attitude up to this point this semester could cost me all of my long term goals, but in spite of that I feel at peace. Perhaps I am just too tired to care.
I had a Business Organizations midterm today. The first law school test I've taken without reading at least 90% of the assigned readings. I think it went okay, but who knows really. I don't think it counts based on my property midterm from last year. I'm worried enough about it counting that I don't want to think about it. I need straight A's this semester in order to get the Prestigious Job I want after law school.
My law review note was also due today. It sucked. You know when you're out of toothpaste or foundation or shampoo and you're scraping just to get that last drop. As I attempted to get my 20 pages to 35 today, that's exactly how it felt. I really wanted to get my note published, but this one is not. getting. published. At least not in its current form. It's time like this that I think God is punishing me for not being a stay at home mom.
I missed my Prestigious Internship today and admitted to my Prestigious Boss that I didn't come in last week while he was at oral arguments. It was an awkward moment in a string of awkward moments. I really want my Internship to turn into a Prestigious Job and I couldn't help but feel that dream swirling the drain. Especially because I convinced my much-smarter-than-me (though luckily with a lower GPA) friend that she should apply to intern for Prestigious Boss next semester. I'll never be a good lawyer because I'm not cutthroat enough.
Next week (and the next week and the next week) I'm going to be traveling for job interviews. It makes me tired to think about it. It makes me tired to think of catching up on Bus Orgs and to consider studying for my C of C midterm (in my class taught by Prestigious Boss). I hope I can find my enthusiasm and work ethic in time to save the semester.
Today is Yom Kippur. I am not Jewish, clearly not Jewish. Very WASP-y. My pre-Mormon ancestors were Lutherans and Anglicans. I like that it is raining, though, on the day of atonement. I think I will pretend that I'm starting the semester anew.
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